Can't we all just get along?

In the realm of politics, perhaps, Martin Lawrence's catchphrase "can't we all just get along" has found it's best application. Just because I'm an advocate of the right to bear arms does not mean that I'm a 'publican. Likewise, because I support the ability for a woman to choose to have an abortion does not make me a liberal, tree-hugging hippie. Well, maybe I like to hug trees, but that's only because we need to take better care of Mother Earf and so should everyone else for that matter.

Not that I really want to talk politics. I'm not apolitical, mind you, but I have a very strong set of opinions and, like my dingle berry encrusted anus, I prefer to keep such things to myself.

No, I'm very much like the Tubby Buddha (whom really isn't Buddha at all); a man of the people who is eager to enjoy and indulge in many of life's finer things. I keep friends in both high and low places so that I can reach the greatest number of people, and in doing so teach people a thing or two. Hell, I might even learn a thing or two while I'm about my business.

So while others dwell on a political system of voting for whoever is going to fuck us over less, I opt to keep focused on smaller, though no less grand things. However, if you know just exactly what is pictured above, you know it can tear a town apart nearly as much as any number of differences in political ideology:

Jackson Coney Island Hot Dogs

Not to be intolerant, but if you think Virginia's has the best to offer in Jackson, please leave my blog. You don't have to stop reading, of course, but both your taste and intelligence are now suspect. Consider Andy's Pizza the best or even second best in town then you can straight away go to Hell. I would rather drink cold coffee filtered through Snooki's herpes peppered asshole than eat a Coney from Andy's Pizza.

Like that? Snooki's herpes peppered asshole? Grosses me out too, and I wouldn't doubt it. She's a dirty one that girl, though girl is subjective. Oompa Loompa is a bit more accurate, which I'm not sure they even have genders. Makes me wonder: do Oompa Loompas reproduce asexually?

Moving on....

So, here we are, talking about a tried and true recipe for something both gross and still a culinary masterpiece at the same time. I say gross, because if you've ever smelled a Coney Island Hot Dog, it's not that dissimilar from a teenage boy's aromatic armpit after a long day at the sandlot in summertime after a weekend at Cedar Point. Sounds putrid doesn't it? Make you want to sink your teeth into one right now?

Despite being able to clear out a room, the odd clashing of flavors - and it has to be a cheap, "made from lips and assholes" hot dog - finds their way comfortably into our memories. The wonderfully seasoned beef heart that makes up the sauce, the lil' fresh onions diced on top, and a thin blanket of mustard to spruce it up; all of this on a cheap bun and dog culminate into an experience much like Spam. And like Spam, you either hate it or will defend it with your life and testify that it is as important a part of your life as a parent or a cousin are parts of your life. 

The formula can be messed with too. Try some 'kraut on your next Coney. A glass of chocolate milk works as well, odd though that it may sound. Blasphemously put some ketchup if you dare, for it does taste good on occasion. Hell, you can even get it in the form of a pizza, which is a perfect time to mention the Jackson establishment that believe has the very best Coney Island Hot Dogs in town: Jaxon Pizza Factory.

On the corner of Waterloo and North St, Jaxon Pizza Factory serves up a variety of dishes. None so mightily as satisfying as their pizza and their Coney Dogs, which are still only $1. Never have they disappointed me with their Coney Dogs, and certainly I cannot recall them experimenting with something other than beef heart being used in the Coney sauce (I'm looking at you Virginia's). 

Of course, I can rant and rave, but it's ultimately your own gustatory discernment that will decide your favorite. Give 'em a go. Go eat some Coney's at any number of places we have in town, for I do the same on a regular basis. 

I will, however, always view Jaxon Pizza Factory as the end-all of Coney's in the great Coney debate.