PMS strong enough for her, but pH balanced for him.

I'm really experiencing a "fuck the world" moment. Not that the world has pissed me off, but today I slowly felt my mood deteriorate into something less than my optimistic self. At this point, I really don't even care about other's problems. I'm in a shitty mood; pure, unalterable shitty.

The Pee Wee pic made me smile, but only for a moment.

Okay, correction, I still feel for other people, and knowing they're not in the best place would take a toll on me. Yet, the most alarming thing is that I think, right now, I'd still pass on helping someone else tonight in favor of wallowing in self pity.

Demolished orphanages in Kenya? Not my problem. Homeless on the streets dying in the cold? Get back to me tomorrow. How about a friend in serious need of some love? Maybe, but I might not even answer the phone, or I'd try and weasel my way out of it to not confront their problem.
*sigh*

There are things I can and need to do. Life could be made better on so many different levels. Yet, I feel unable to commit to the changes that would make my life more golden.

If I could paint a picture, what would it look like? A person in traction perceiving themselves as crippled, surrounded by people in various activities: talking on a phone, bicycling, feeding a baby, working on a book, building a shed, laughing with friends at dinner running a marathon...all around me, and me wanting to participate but unable to exact movement because I feel lacking in the ability to move. That's one thought....

Get at me in a day or three..."it can't rain all the time"...

Lent is almost upon us and I always take it to heart to do something to test me personally, as much as something to sacrifice for God. My thoughts on this year:
- Drink no beer or alcohol for 40 days....
- Eat no pizza or pizza like food for 40 days....
- Eat no fries for 40 days....
- Walk no less than 1 mile a day for 40 days....
- Meditate for ten minutes a day for 40 days....

Ultimately, these are all sacrifices geared towards my own benefit....but is that so bad? Cure myself so I'll be better able to help others?